This Winter Blows

It is March first.  It is zero degrees, with -18 windchill.  It's also the last weekend of the 2013-14 long track skating season here in Minnesota.

At the end of the 2011-12 season I was moved to poetry.  At the end of the 2012-13 season I did a boring bullet-point recap of the season's highs and lows.  Today, as one of the coldest winters in Minnesota history limps towards spring, I feel the need to wax (somewhat) musical.

For this to make any sense at all, you need to be familiar with the song "Love is All Around" by The Troggs (yes, The Troggs of "Wild Thing" fame.)  For those of you who don't have it running through your head, here it is.

Got it?  Ok...I now present to you my Ode to the Season of 2013-14:  This Winter Blows

This Winter Blows

I can't feel my fingers

I can't feel my toes

I think my snot is frozen

Oh, yeah, and so's my nose

The howling of the wind

The drifting of the snow

The oval's like the tundra

Man, this winter blows

(ba dum bum ba dum)

But I love skating

I always will

Though my butt cheeks are numb

And I frostbit my heel

My legs are frozen

My knees won't bend

This freezing cold

Will never end

(ba dum bum ba dum)

The hockey pads are blowing

Across the skating track

Why is this blasted wind

Never at my back?

Please slow down the headwind

And please warm up the cold

I still love Minnesota

But man, this winter blows...

Man, this winter blows