Christmas Comes to Buttcamp

When I left the Long Track Life after updating on Wednesday, I was bummed.  Very bummed.  I had been on restricted lower-body activity--no rowing, no squats, no Burpees, no anything fun--for 10 days, and I had just gotten word that the restrictions would be extended until my right leg matched my left in mobility.  Which, when you're as inflexible as I am, could be a very long time.  I was afraid I was looking at a very, very long time of no skating, no CrossFit WODs, and no fun.

So after I whined extensively here on the blog, I called my surgeon. I wanted to know if my recovery was on track; if the pain I was feeling was expected, and if I truly needed to restrict my activity in order for my leg to heal properly.  It's not that I don't trust my PT; I do--he's the one who was finally able to cure the low back pain that I'd had for seven years, so I know he knows his stuff.  But I was desperate for a different opinion, and anyway he only put the restrictions in place in response to my complaints about the amount of pain I was experiencing, so I figured that if we found out that the pain was to be expected at this phase of healing, then maybe the restrictions were unnecessary.

So I got an appointment with my surgeon for Friday afternoon, and to cut to the chase, that's exactly what he said.  Healing is progressing fine, pain is as expected, no need to limit activity at this point

Let me repeat that: No need to limit activity at this point!!

Well, he still doesn't want me to try skating until I can run further, but other than that I can do pretty much anything I want. In fact, he even said--although he appeared somewhat baffled by my discussion of my hamstring being too tight to do things like deadlifts and cleans--"well, if you can't pick the bar up off the ground, pick it up off something higher."  Hmm, I think he just gave me clearance to do hang cleans and hang snatches!

So, elated with my newfound freedom, I went home and checked the SISU site for the Saturday morning workout.  Saturday is Büttcamp day at SISU--but of course everyone ignores the umlaut and calls it Buttcamp.  Buttcamp workouts generally have more people than weekday WODs so they're usually team or partner events, and they tend to be more cardio-oriented than strength.  I haven't gone to many Buttcamp workouts because Saturdays are either my day off of workouts, or race day.  But now I wanted to work out as soon as possible, and I particularly wanted to do some of the newly-approved lower body movements.  So when I checked the next day's Buttcamp workout and found Cindy, I felt like Christmas had come early.  That's right, Cindy, the same Cindy that I had been so delighted to do the day before Thanksgiving...and before my activity restrictions.  20 minutes of 5 pullups, 10 pushups, and 15 air squats.

Friday night I was as giddy as a girl getting ready for the prom (I imagine.  For the record, I never went to prom.  So I'm guessing).  I got my clothes all laid out for the morning, I signed in on the online checkin to reserve my spot, I prepped my protein shake and shaved my hands. (No, I don't have hairy Hobbit fingers; I have calluses from all the pullups I've been doing lately, and it's best to shave calluses down with a razor to help prevent hand rips.)  Then I made sure my spiffy new WODGrips hand protectors were packed, and went to bed with visions of squats dancing in my head.

There's that pink again.

And Saturday Buttcamp was everything I could have wanted. From the moment Coach Tyler introduced the workout with "Who here has done Cindy?" and one of the guys responded with the inevitable quip "Who's Cindy?," through the warmup that included rowing that--surprise surprise!--didn't hurt this time, to the 20 minutes of Cindy, it was a complete blast.  I was partnered with a woman who has only been doing CrossFit for a couple weeks, but she did an awesome job and in fact sometimes she did her reps so fast that I wasn't done resting yet when it was my turn.  Despite having to take turns doing the reps, which forced rest time, I ended up doing a few more reps this time than the last time I did Cindy--8 rounds 3 reps versus last time's 7 rounds 23 reps.  I'm crediting my speedier pullups for the extra reps--I actually did the first 3 sets of 5 pullups unbroken, which is a PR for me (kipping, of course; I still can't do more than 3 strict unbroken).  The only tiny fly in the ointment was breakfast; I'm so used to doing low-intensity workouts that I didn't worry about finishing breakfast less than an hour before Buttcamp.  Bad plan...even with my super-slow-and-careful squats, the WOD was intense enough that I spent several post-Cindy minutes lying on my back regretting breakfast and trying to make sure it didn't make a surprise reappearance.

But other than that it was fun, fun, fun. I tried to explain my joy to Hubby Jim when I returned home, but I could see he didn't get it.  Maybe it's weird that I find doing pullups, pushups and squats until I almost puke to be fun...but I do, and I'm thrilled to be able to do it again.  And I'm really hoping that, now that I have the surgeon's assurance that my healing is on track, I can finally get off the Recovery Rollercoaster that I've been riding for the past couple months and make steady progress towards full-on CrossFit and skating.

Which would truly be the best Christmas present ever.

Pity Party Number...oh, I don't know...Twenty?

If this post had bullet points like the last one did, there would be a lot more in the "bad" category than the "good."  In fact, pretty much everything from last week's "good" category has now moved into the "bad."  When I went to PT the day after I wrote my previous post, I complained to  PT TieGuy (remember, he's my old skating coach Coach TieGuy's brother) that my leg hurt a fair amount, a fair amount of the time.  Now, I'd cleared with him pretty much everything I was doing, before I started doing it...but when he had me run through the whole list of what I'd been up to in workouts--Burpees and squats and rowing and running and box step-ups and a little skating dryland--well, he told me to stop it.  All of it.  No Burpees or squats or rowing or dryland or box step ups.  Oh, he did let me keep the running...all 200 yards of it that I can do.

Apparently, I've been overdoing it a bit.

Really, I think it would have been fine if I hadn't fallen five weeks ago...but I did fall and it's not fine.  I have read of other people with my injury who were running 3-5 miles at this point in their recovery, so I really don't think that what I was doing would have been out of line without that additional fall. But I did fall and apparently my hammy was not happy with my increasing its workload, so I'm back to extremely limited lower body work...except that now, I can't do elliptical or go swimming for a cardio workout because I, in my infinite wisdom, decided I was far enough along in my recovery that I could cancel my Lifetime Fitness membership.  Oops.

We did figure some things out at PT today, though.  It seems that the inner thigh pain I've had ever since the injury is likely the hamstring muscle that I tore (as opposed to the one that I tore off the bone, which is reattached at a location away from the pain), which is still healing. And the pain on my outer thigh--again, away from the attachment site--is likely from walking with a limp for a couple weeks.  And, of course, the pain at the attachment site is, well, from the attachment.  So it's nice to have that all explained.  Even if it does still hurt.

Bottom line, though, is that I'm not allowed to do anything fun--no Burpees or squats or skating or rowing--until my injured leg has the same range of motion as my non-injured leg.  Which, based on current stiffness, could be at least a month if not more.  I had hoped that in the ten days of rest I'd taken since my last PT appointment, my hammy would have improved enough that today my PT would have lifted the restrictions.  But he didn't, and so, upon hearing that, I reacted with my usual cheery optimism and appropriate coping behavior.

In other words, I swore extensively and then went and ate a donut.  And an ice cream cone.

So for the foreseeable future it's back to my upperbody workouts at CrossFit, with a little jogging and maybe some elliptical if I can find a time to get to the cardio room at the high school (free for school staff!).  On the plus side, my pullups are coming along nicely...I did 75 kipping pullups in a WOD the other day, mostly one at a time...and given the 7 pounds I've put on since I hit the recliner, I'd say that means my arms are pretty strong!  Which is good, because until I can start skating and doing lower body stuff at CrossFit, my arms are going to be responsible for keeping me exercised, sane, and out of the cookie jar.

I hope they're up to the job.

Time for More Bullet Points!

Recovering from an injury isn't nearly as much fun to write about as, say, training for a CrossFit competition or racing in a long track skating meet.  There are a few high points--like doing Cindy Rx--and a few low points--like slipping and falling again; but usually there's not enough to write about to fill a whole blog post.

So enter, once again, the Bullet Point Post.

As of next Tuesday I'll be 14 weeks post surgery.  Here are some of things that are going on lately:

The Good

• On Friday Dec. 5, 102 days after my injury, I was finally able to do a workout at full intensity.  I've done some of the WODs in CrossFit in the past couple weeks, but I've always had to be slow and cautious so I haven't felt like I've really "done a CrossFit workout" yet.  Even Cindy, although it left me a bit breathless, wasn't truly full effort--I was super cautious in the squats.  So I really haven't gone all out yet...until Friday.  The  6x250 meters rowing with 1 mn rest between each row that I did on Friday certainly felt like a "real" CrossFit workout!  I had to sit on my nice little butt pad on the rower seat, and my leg hurt a little, but I was able to row as hard as I could.  When I unclipped my feet after the sixth set and basically rolled onto the floor to assume the classic Post-WOD Roadkill pose, I was able to rediscover the weird masochist joy of completing a high-intensity workout.  Man, I've missed that!
• New things I've done recently:  stepping up on the 20 inch box with my bad leg leading; jumping rope; doing weighted squats (just 35 pounds for the back squat and 15 for the overhead, but still--weighted); rowing (I had done it before my slip-and-fall three weeks ago, but it's been too painful to do until just this week); running (well, jogging 100-200 yards at a time); and dryskating (well, I did 8 strokes with each foot and then my bad hammie said "enough").  So I'm still making progress.
• My kip seems to be improving.  A little.  I've never, despite a lot of very good instruction, been able to figure out the kip.  And until I started competing, I didn't care.  I had heard that kipping is hard on your shoulders, so I didn't even try--I stuck with strict pullups with the band.  But if you're going to compete you need to be able to kip in order to complete the high number of pullups that you might find in a competition WOD.  So, after working on strict pullups for the past 6 weeks to strengthen my shoulders, I'm now trying to kip again.  The coach gave me some more instruction at my personal training session on Thursday, and it might be starting to click--on Friday I did 4 kipping pullups unbroken.  Hey, it's a start!

The Bad

• There are still many movements that I'm unwilling to attempt.  Some, like climbing the rope, would be fine if nothing went wrong--but like Hubby Jim says, you have to consider the failure mode, and flailing around in a rope-climb-gone-bad could cause all sorts of problems.  Also in this category are handstands and double unders.  Other movements make my hammie hurt just thinking about them: deadlifts, snatches, cleans, kettle bell swings, wall balls, toes to bar (not that I could ever do those anyway), and walking lunges.  Oh, yeah--and skating.  Actually, skating lands in both categories--I'm sure I'd be able to just wobble around in rec-skater mode, but if I slipped or lost my balance or fell, really bad stuff could happen.  On the other hand, I can't even imagine being able to get into "real" speedskating position right now, let alone being able to actually skate.  So there's still quite a ways to go.
• Yesterday I went to the Oval to watch the American Cup/John Rose Open long track meet. In addition to watching some good races and talking myself hoarse updating all my friends on my hamstring issues, I managed to find myself spending money at the Cascade Speedskating booth set up in the lobby (no, that's not the "bad" thing!).  I bought a jacket and a pair of full-zip bibs to wear to the starting line of cold outdoor races.  When I  tried on the bibs, my first thought was "man, that's some poor quality control.  The left leg of these bibs is a lot tighter than the right."  A couple seconds later, of course, I realized that I had just answered fellow speedskater and hammie-avulsee Steve's question from earlier in the day..."Is you injured thigh still a lot smaller than your uninjured?"  Um, I guess it is!
• Recovery is still definitely having its ups and downs.  I was pretty bummed after doing a couple CrossFit WODs in my new "slow and careful" style, and realizing how much fitness I've lost--not just in my legs, but in other areas like my core (although, yes, my pushups and pullups and ring dips are progressing nicely).   After Thursday's personal training and Friday's rowing WOD, though, I'm feeling more optimistic again.

The Ugly

• The day after I got back from my parents' place, where we spent Thanksgiving, I stepped on the scale and realized that I have now officially gained back all the weight I had lost last spring in the SISU Nutrition Challenge. Enough said.

So there you have it...the current state of Operation Hamstring Recovery.

Cindy Rx

Today is twelve weeks and one day since my hamstring surgery, and I think it's time for a good old-fashioned WOD post. You know, the posts filled with tales of epic efforts, colossal clumsiness, and frantic flailing.

In other words, the fun ones.

I've been going to CrossFit about four times a week since I got sprung from the recliner in mid-October.  I have a Personal Training session with Coach Jason every few weeks and he gives me three workouts customized to my current state of "leglessnes."  I do each workout two or three times, and then we meet again and I get new workouts (and once in a while, I'm lucky enough that the regular WOD is upper-body only and I can actually join the class that day.  Those are great days.)    I've already done each of my newest workouts three times, though, and the short holiday week is precluding another PT session to update the plan.  So today I was wanting to do something different, something new, something that might give me a benchmark of where I am at this stage in my recovery.

Enter "Cindy."

Cindy is one of the CrossFit "Girls" WOD's, which are benchmark workouts that all CrossFitters do the same way (they're named after girls, not a ladies-only thing).  They are a way to track your progress and  to compare yourself to yourself...or to compare yourself to others, if you're into that sort of thing. I've done a few benchmark "Girl" WOD's--Nancy and Annie and Jackie and Fran come to mind--but I've never come close to doing one of them "Rx"--that's CrossFit lingo for doing a WOD as it's written, and not modifying anything to make it easier ("scaling."  Yes, it's a whole new language.  Try to keep up). Anyway, scaling has pretty much been my middle name since I started CrossFit.  But when I was pondering what to do today, I remembered Cindy--and I realized, with surprise, that I could actually do this one Rx now.

 Cindy consists of doing as many sets of 5 pullups, 10 pushups, and 15 air squats as possible in 20 minutes.  I've been doing pushups and pullups every day after my workouts so I can actually do a reasonable number of them now.  I just recently became able to do "real" (below parallel) CrossFit squats again, and I've actually done 100 of them, slowly and carefully and in sets of 15-30, a couple of times this past week.  So Cindy was looking like something I might actually be able to do.

I ran the plan by Coach Tyler, who was coaching the class this afternoon.  I didn't want to do Cindy down in the Personal Training room where I usually do my custom workouts because the pullup bar in there is too high for me to reach without a box and I really didn't want to be climbing up on a box for every set of pullups.  But I didn't want to interfere with the class by working out in the main room either...but fortunately the pre-Thanksgiving class was small and there was plenty of room for me to do my thing.

So, as the class prepared to do squat cleans (just watching them makes my hamstring hurt), I set my watch timer to 20 minutes, put on the grips that I use to keep my palms from ripping, and prepped my whiteboard.  I wrote 6 sets of "5's" for the pullups, "10's" for the pushups, and "15's" for the squats.  I hoped to be able to do five rounds, but figured I'd write down an extra one in case I underestimated myself.  Then I'd just erase a line through each number as I completed the exercises--saving the time it would take to uncap a marker and write a number each time.  It's all about the planning...

The first few sets were uneventful. I was able to do the sets of 10 pushups unbroken, and the squats, although excruciatingly slow and careful so as to avoid any unplanned hamstring stretch, were fine.  I did the pullups "strict"--without the body-swing "kip" that makes pullups easier by adding momentum.  It's not that I have anything against kipping...I've just never really been able to do it.  I've been practicing all my pullups "strict" these last 6 weeks to avoid injuring my hamstring with random kip-like flailing, so I figured that's how I'd do them in Cindy.  And I did...for three sets.  I've done three strict pullups in a row a couple times, and two in a row many times, but that wasn't happening today.  Today I was pretty much limited to sets of, well...one.  And after the first 15 pullups, it became clear that no more "strict" pullups were happening today, at least not without a nice long break...maybe 10 minutes or so.  Which was clearly not a good plan since I only had about 13 minutes left.

So for set four, I tried kipping pullups.  Or at least, my mostly-ineffectual flailing-crappie version of kipping.  It wasn't pretty (fortunately everyone else was knee-deep in squat cleans and thus missed my depiction of a dying fish attempting to to a pullup), but it gave me just enough extra momentum that I could continue on with the one-at-a-time pullups.

And so I did, for three more sets.  By this time I was having to break the pushups into sets of five, and my hamstring was suggesting that perhaps we'd done enough squats now.  When my timer rang at the end of 20 minutes, though, I was delighted to have done 7 rounds and 23 additional reps...in other words, 40 pullups, 80 pushups, and 113 air squats.  I was also delighted that, for the first time since August 25, I ended a workout flat on my back on the floor trying to catch my breath. OK, I'm sure part of the breathlessness was due to lack of fitness rather than extent of effort...but I'll take it.

 Rx Cindy and Post-WOD Roadkill Pose...it doesn't get much better than that.

Thankful Post, Early Edition

I realize that it's been a bit whiny around the Long Track Life lately, so I think it's time for a Thanksgiving post, just a couple days early.

Of course, I realize that overall I'm an extremely fortunate person.  The main part of my life, the cake (if you'll allow me an un-Paleo analogy), is fabulous--think of the best cake you've ever eaten, like maybe that white Costco cake with the cream filling.  I'm always thankful for the "cake" part of my life--my wonderful family, husband, dog, friends, and job.  Even in my more whiny moments I realize how good I have it and how much I have to be thankful for.

But just this last week, I've gotten some pretty nice "icing" for my cake as well, and I think it's appropriate to give thanks for all the good things that have been happening recently.  So here, in no particular order, are some bits of icing I'm thankful for this pre-Thanksgiving week (and I hope like heck that no one brings a Costco cake to the staff lounge at work this week, or I may not be able to say "no!").

• My intolerance of tomatoes, which appeared out of the blue last March, has left as suddenly and mysteriously as it came.  After about four months of completely abstaining from any tomato products, I gradually began trying small amounts of tomato--and I'm happy to say that I can now eat an entire serving of spaghetti or chili with no stomach pains or, um, intestinal issues.

Welcome back, my tangy and tasty--if not entirely Paleo--friends.

• Related to the above bullet point, I have now discovered the perfect Paleo noodle substitute--Zucchini noodles, or "zoodles."  All you need is a spiral slicer and a smallish zucchini.  They taste great, and cooking them couldn't be simpler--just microwave them for a minute or so before putting the sauce on them.

Like the "product placement?"  That's a cutting board made

by my brother-in-law, who took over my dad's 

woodworking business when he retired.

• Moving out of the kitchen, I've had some things to be thankful for in the physical department as well.  The big one is that my leg, which was extremely cranky after my fall 10 days ago, is now happier again.  It's been painful enough since the fall that I haven't been able to wear "regular" pants to work (nothing like rockin' the athletic sweats to make you feel professional), and more importantly, I haven't been able to row. This is extremely important because a) rowing is currently the only way I can really get my heart rate up, and b) I really want to do an online "Row 100,000 meters between Thanksgiving and Christmas" challenge as a way of getting into better cardio shape before I start skating again in (hopefully) January.  But as of yesterday, after some stretching and self-scar-massage, my leg is feeling much better.  I rowed 500 meters yesterday, and wore jeans for about 3 hours, both without excessive pain--so things are looking up.
• I may have a CrossFit wheelhouse again (or, as the kids these days seem to say, a "jam").  In the past, my CrossFit strengths have been running and rowing.  Running is obviously not happening now (my farthest and fastest run recently was one-tenth of a mile at 4 mph on the Lifetime treadmill yesterday), and my rowing speed and endurance have also taken a big hit.  But now, as I say, I seem to have a new "jam,"  or at least something that I can do well enough to complete assigned amounts in WODs without scaling.  To my surprise, my newfound strength is pullups and pushups.  I've been doing them pretty much every day in addition to whatever workout I'm doing, and on Thursday I got to see the results of my work.  We had a WOD I could do at CrossFit: weighted pushups for the strength portion, and chest-to-bar pullups and split jerks for the metcon.  I had to sub push presses for the split jerks, but otherwise the movements were legless enough that I could do them.  So I did.  The coach initially wanted me to do my weighted pushups with 15 pounds instead of the prescribed 25, but I wanted to try the 25.  My goal was 30 weighted pushups, and I ended up doing 31 (much to my delight and, I think, everyone else's surprise).  The C2B pullups were supposed to be 12-9-6, and I managed to do the 12 as C2B, the 9 as strict pullups, and the last 6 as C2B.  Well, 5 of the last 6, anyway.  With 40 seconds to go to the time cap, and 6 push presses still to complete, the coach came up as I was hanging on the bar on rep 6, futilely attempting to get the last inch of vertical movement that would bring my chest to the bar.  After watching me hang there for several seconds, kicking and flailing, he said "OK, that's good" and sent me on to the push presses.  I probably would have no-repped myself on that one, but who am I to argue with a coach? :-)

Tomatoes, jeans, pullups, pushups, and rowing...I have a lot to be thankful for this week!

Setback

The week started out so well. On Monday, I got to do a real CrossFit workout.  On Tuesday, I got to do another one.  Then on Wednesday I took the dog out, slipped and fell in the unseasonably-early snow, and tweaked my leg.

Damn.

I knew right away that, even though I had fallen in the worst possible way--slipping with my injured leg in front of me, which forced me to use my hamstring to try (unsuccessfully) to stop myself from falling--I hadn't re-torn the attachment.  It hurt a bit but nothing like the original injury, and the hamstring clearly still worked.  So I didn't call the doc, but just talked to my physical therapist about it at my appointment that afternoon.  By then my leg was sore and swollen, but with no bruising, so he agreed that it was pissed off but not torn.  He banned me from squats, Burpees, rowing, and anything else lower-body until I see him next week, and said it was likely that the fall would delay my return to skating and full CrossFit by an additional couple weeks.  He also told me to be damn sure I don't fall again in the next week or two.  So now I creep around outside in my boots with ice cleats strapped to them, shuffling cautiously along like an old lady.

So I had a couple days of "return to pity party"--my recovery had just hit a phase where I could start doing really fun stuff like actually getting out of breath and sweaty at CrossFit, and it was frustrating to see that go away and to return to the pain level, swelling, and more restricted activities that I had experienced two or three weeks ago.  But I'm over that and able to look on the bright side now...I didn't re-tear the hamstring, I can still do a lot of active stuff, and I'll be back to where I was--and beyond--soon.

So as setbacks go, it certainly could have been a lot worse.

Spiral

So last week I wrote optimistically about "moving past the depressed injured athlete phase" of my recovery.  This week, I'm beginning to realize that the "moving past" is not a straight shot, but more of a spiral in which you revisit the various stages of recovery again and again. Right now, it seems to be time to revisit the "depressed athlete" phase.

In other words, this week I'm gonna whine.

Looking at things objectively, I should be happy.  I can walk, I can drive, I can swim and I can do the elliptical and I can row.  I've got great customized CrossFit workouts to keep me busy, and I'm seeing progress with my upper body strength--last week I PR'd my bench press at 100 pounds, and my strict pullups at 2 consecutive.  I was even able (with my physical therapist's blessing) to do Burpees--one-legged Burpees, really, and I can't say it would distress me too much to still be banned from doing Burpees but hey, it's progress.  I'd even been fairly successful at sticking with Paleo recently.  So what's there to whine about?

Well, like I said...objectively, nothing.  But for a lot of reasons, this has seemed like kind of a rough week.  My ability to sit semi-comfortably had been improving...and then this week I maybe pushed it too far, starting with a dinner out and then compounding that with lots of sitting on hard chairs in the staff lunchroom.  At any rate, my leg has been hurting a lot more than usual this week.  The Oval opened for skating on Friday and I can't skate, lots of people from SISU are doing a CrossFit competition this weekend and I can't do CrossFit, and hot flashes and perimenopausal mood swings have been running rampant the past few days.  And all of these things pissed me off enough that by Friday night, I'd had it.  I was sick of my leg hurting, sick of not being able to do the things I love, sick of having to think, every time I move or bend over or get up or down from the floor, about how I'm going to do it without risking re-injuring my leg.

So of course I did the logical thing Friday night: I indulged in the mood-elevating properties of pizza, cookies, and (free) ice cream at a local pizza place.  There's no mood so bad that junk food can't make it better...before, of course, the regret sets in and makes it worse.

This morning, though, I decided to go to the oval for the first long track ice session of the season--not to skate, just to smell the ice and watch the skaters and talk to my friends--even though I realized I was risking making myself even more depressed by going to watch something I'm not able to do.  It was a beautiful day for skating, though...

Doesn't that just make you want to skate?

...and despite a few initial pangs when I saw the ice and realized that I have as many weeks until I can skate as I've had since the surgery, I was still glad I went.  It was fun to talk to my friends and see how excited they are for the start of the season.  And I tried jogging a bit around the blacktop track outside the oval; I can now make it about 100 yards before I start limping.  So that's an improvement, and it was a fun morning...and so the recovery spiral continues...

On the Bright Side

I tend to be a glass-half-full kind of person, so now that I'm able to work out again and thus have moved past the "depressed injured athlete" phase of this hamstring thing, I think it's time to look at the bright side of my injury.

Now, a hamstring avulsion is hardly a life-changing event, so don't expect any "wow, I look at life so differently now" type of revelations.  No, this is merely a list of "gee, this could have sucked a whole lot more if circumstances had been a bit different" observations.  So without further ado, here are the "look on the bright side" aspects of my hamstring injury:

• Professionally, this injury could not have come at a better time.  I have been a special education teacher for 25 years, and for the last 16 years I've had a classroom for kids with cognitive disabilities.  My class size varies a bit from year to year; last year I had 10 kids...and this year I have five.  And they're five of the easiest kids I've ever had.  Pretty much any of the past 24 years would have been a way worse time for this to happen, in terms of how difficult it would have been to have a reserve teacher step into my job for the first six weeks of school.
• I've been speedskating for the past 10 years.  It's been pretty much my only sport and my only exercise, and it's all, of course, lower-body.  It's only been slightly over a year that I've been doing CrossFit, which has given me a fun way to workout the rest of my body.  So now that lower body stuff is out for a while, I still have workouts I can do.  If I had injured myself before I discovered CrossFit, I would have been mighty depressed if I couldn't skate and had nothing else to replace it with while my hamstring healed.
• CrossFit not only has given me a way to workout that doesn't involve my hamstring, but I've been doing it long enough that the coaches know me and know what kind of stuff I can and can't do.  So, through personal training sessions with one of the CrossFit coaches, I'm able to get customized workouts that avoid exercises I shouldn't be doing and that help me work on my weak upper body areas.
• My bicep tendinitis is gone!  One of my chiropractors had said that a 6-8 week break from lifting was likely the only way I would get it to permanently resolve, and of course I wasn't willing to do that.  Now that I've been forced to, I'm happy to report that my shoulder is feeling fine.
• Because the Granite Games organizers had taunted us with the possibility of a swimming WOD, I had worked on swimming enough this summer that I can now exhale with my face in the water without panicking and risking drowning.  So I'm now able to use swimming (with a pull buoy, no kicking) as a cardio workout while the hammy heals.  It's not pretty, but I wouldn't have been able to do it at all if I hadn't done the practice this summer.
• I gained a new appreciation of my husband.  I already knew he was wonderful, but I was surprised at how well he jumped into the "nurse" role...fetching me stuff while I lounged in the recliner, cooking and taking care of stuff around the house, and even changing the bandage on an incision I could neither see nor reach.

So despite the timing of this injury being very unfortunate in respect to the Granite Games (which of course I had to miss) and the upcoming Masters Long Track Allround competition in Calgary in early February (which I had planned on doing and which I will be in no way ready or able to participate in)--things could have been a lot worse, and there really are a lot of "bright side" aspects to keep reminding myself of...

Long Time No Post

I see that it's been 10 days since I posted; this is partly because I've gone back to work and am now busy again, and partly because things are pretty quiet around here.  Here's what's been going on:

• Work is going well, except for the sitting.  My students are now used to seeing me carrying a pillow with me wherever I go, and have even reminded me to go get it when I forget and leave it on another chair.  Even with a pillow, though, there's just no good way to sit, and by the end of the day I always have a fairly significant pain in the ass.  Oh, well...this too shall pass.
• My custom CrossFit workouts are fun.  Not as fun as "real" CrossFit, of course, because I'm working out by myself which is not nearly as entertaining as working out in a group, and also I can't do the usual "high intensity" CrossFit-style stuff--yes, I actually miss collapsing on the ground like roadkill after a WOD.  But I'm getting a good workout and it's nice to have my bicep tendinitis pain (which I've had since March) finally be gone--seven weeks off will cure a lot of what ails you, I guess.
• I am apparently not Lifetime Fitness material.  Within one week of beginning my membership, I have: lost my card; forgotten my hairbrush post-swimming--twice; almost walked into the men's locker room; overlooked the full-sized towels and brought a "sweat wiper" sized towel to the shower with me, which really wasn't sufficient for the job; and incurred many a confused look from the Lululemon-clad chicks in the cardio room as I hopped from machine to machine, spending no more than 2 minutes on each in my quest to find the most hammy-friendly cardio exercise.  Still, I'm sticking with it until I'm able to jog again, because I really have no other cardio options.  And I'm finally getting a chance to work on my swimming, which may come in handy some time or other.
• I think I've finally gotten back on the Paleo wagon for good...but not before I outgrew a few pairs of pants.  Good thing I'm able to work out again!

So all in all, recovery is going well, work is going well, workouts are going well.  All is good.

If That Was a Demon...I Guess This is an Exorcism

Wikipedia (I know, I know) defines "exorcism" as "the practice of evicting demons or other spiritual entities from a person or an area they are believed to have possessed."  My last post was about the particular "demon" I've been dealing with lately while recovering from my hamstring surgery...and now I'm happy to say that, as of Friday, I have officially evicted the Demon of Supreme Crankiness that had been possessing me.

All it took was a workout and a car.

I knew I was really missing working out, of course, so I was very excited when, on Friday, I got to do my first official workout in 45 days.  Coach Jason at SISU wrote up a nice hammy-avoidant upper body workout for me, and between that and the numerous glute-strengthening exercises my physical therapist has given me (he's my old speedskating coach's brother, so he understands the value of functional glutes and wants me to strengthen them before I really start working on strengthening the hammies themselves), I had a good 45 minutes of work to do.  Despite needing to lift really light weights--at least I didn't have to go back to the 15-pound bar, though--it was a lot of fun.  The only thing missing was cardio; I can't run or row or use a regular spinning bike yet.  Coach Jason suggested I (gasp!) join LifeTime Fitness or something similar and try swimming, the elliptical machine, recumbent biking, and anything else they might have that might allow me to get out of breath without using my hamstring.  So, never being one to spend too long pondering these things, I stopped in at LifeTime on the way home and signed up.  


So by Friday afternoon, the workout drought had ended and I was mildly ecstatic as a result.  I had expected the return to working out to make my happy, though...what I hadn't expected was the secondary mood-elevator that piggybacked on the workout endorphins:  driving.  I have to drive to get to where I workout, you know...and it turns out that driving is a big source of fun for me.

I knew I liked driving, of course.  I guess I just hadn't realized how much I like it.  Part of the enjoyment  is just having the freedom to jump in the car any time and go anywhere.  Forgot an item on your last trip to the store?  Need to go to PT?  Suddenly decide you need a Monster Energy Drink realize that you're out of kale for that protein smoothie?  No problem...just grab the keys and go.

So freedom is nice, of course, but it turns out that there's another reason I love driving--singing.  I like to sing.  Unfortunately, no one else likes me to sing (understandably!), so I limit it to when I'm alone in the car, usually on my way to workouts when I'm playing my "pre-workout" playlist.  I guess I hadn't realized the mood-elevating properties of bellowing along to my favorite songs, but as soon as I hit that first (undoubtedly wrong) note, the Happy Meter was pegged.

So between the lifting and the singing, life is good.  Of course, the enjoyment doesn't come without a couple negatives; I'm a little sore from the working out, and driving is actually the most painful thing I currently do.  Part of the pain is just from having to sit normally on a seat, rather than being able to perch on the edge to avoid the unhappy incision site and hamstring attachment site.  Braking is also painful because of the movement required of the hamstring.  Race-car-driver-and-general-gearhead Jim suggests "left foot braking," but I remind him that I'm "whole body uncoordinated" and so that just doesn't sound like a good idea to me.  So I pay a bit of a pain penalty for my freedom and song, and usually end up parking in the recliner for a nice comfortable rest as soon as I get home.  Which could be a problem, of course, because I go back to work tomorrow and there is no recliner in my classroom.

Oh, well...a little pain is a small price to pay for exorcising the Demon of Crankiness.

Does This Qualify as a Demon?

Usually, I write to entertain. In fact, I spelled this out pretty thoroughly in my third blog post ever, back in June of 2011.  For those who don't want to follow the link back into history, the short version is this:  I was an American Studies and Creative Writing major in college, but apparently not a very good one--my creative writing prof once told me that, while I had great command of the English language, I had absolutely nothing to say.  It wasn't enough just to entertain, he said; no, I needed to "wrestle with some demons" in my writing.

Well, being a nice middle-class student at a nice middle-class college, I had no demons.  And, I'm happy to say, I really have had very few demons in the thirty-plus years since then.  So, lacking anything to "wrestle with," I've been writing to entertain ever since.  (I suspect that often I myself may be the only one I'm entertaining, but what the heck...I admit to being self-absorbed enough that I thoroughly enjoy my own writing.)

But now...I may have just the tiniest demon to write about.

Physically, my recovery from my hamstring avulsion and surgery is going fantastically.  Thanks in part to having a doctor who approaches rehab a bit more aggressively than most, at almost five weeks post-surgery I'm doing way more than I expected to be doing.  Most people with this surgery have a knee brace or, more rarely, a hip brace for the first six weeks or so post-op, to prevent them from making any movements that would stretch the hamstring and thus potentially cause re-injury.  My doctor did not use a brace with me, and had me begin weight bearing much earlier than many doctors do; he feels that as long as you're in controlled situations, this doesn't pose a risk of re-injury and prevents a lot of other issues that arise when you're basically immobile for six weeks.  So today, at the point when many people are still hobbling around in a brace and using crutches with no weight bearing allowed, I'm able to walk a mile or so, go up and down stairs with a normal gait pattern, and to drive short distances (What?  Yes, I know, recovery is not a contest.  But if it was, I'd be kickin' butt.)  I'm still off work for one more week, because the hamstring attachment site is still quite vulnerable for six weeks after surgery, and my job is unpredictable enough that my doctor doesn't want me in a situation that might result in re-injury until that six week mark has passed.  But all in all, physically, my recovery is going great.

Mentally and emotionally, not so much.

It turns out that my previous post about the light at the end of the tunnel might have been a bit premature.  My post before that, about sucking at being a patient, is actually much more accurate.  While I'm delighted that I can now move around without crutches or a scooter, walk the dog, drive short distances, and put my pants on without dangling them from a coathanger hook because I can't bend my knee far enough to reach my foot, ...much as I'm delighted to be able to do all that and more, I'm still having a really hard time with this.

I like to think I'm a pretty introspective person by nature.  Between that and my training as a Behavior Analyst having given me a lens through which to view human behavior, I do know what's going on (doesn't make me like it or deal with it any better, but at least I understand it).  Basically, my whole focus all summer was working out.  Mostly training for the Granite Games, of course, but also keeping up my speedskating training (which, of course, turned out to be a very bad idea).  Between CrossFit workouts, extra work at CrossFit, skating, stretching, foam rolling, and driving to and from workouts, I was spending probably 20-25 hours a week on working out--and loving every minute of it.  I loved the workouts themselves, the progress I was making, the weight I had lost and the new muscles I had found (I think I might have even glimpsed an ab at one point).  I was truly having the most fun summer I had had in as long as I could remember...and it all came to a complete and sudden stop at 4:45 on August 25.  In the split second it took to crash and tear my hamstring, I went from 90 mph to zero, and none of the stuff that I was enjoying so much was available to me any more.

No wonder I'm depressed and cranky.

Yesterday was a particularly frustrating day.  I went to the second of three Olympic lifting seminars put on by CrossFit SISU, and like the first seminar last week, this one contained a wealth of information and I was glad I went...but while last time I found it fun to be back in the box--even if only as a spectator--this time I just found it depressing.  Despite having progressed to being able to walk without crutches now, I realized that I'm only able to do about 1% of the stuff that we do in CrossFit--no lifts that involve the lower body, of course, but also no simple stretches, no warmup jog, no anything that requires anything more of the lower body than simply standing in one place.  And being back in the box also made me more aware of the fact that it's not just the working out that I miss; it's the routine of working out.

I am fully aware that I'm a very routine-oriented person (some have even used the term "rigid," but I choose not to listen to them).  I have my coffee out of the same mug every morning and I have my (Paleo) granola in the same bowl every morning and I have my routines for walking the dog and driving to work and watching TV...and, of course, for working out.  I love the routines of packing up for CrossFit or skating and getting the right songs on the iPod playlist and driving to the workout...in fact, I love the routines almost as much as I love the workouts themselves.  And unfortunately, this love of the routine as well as the workout makes it much more difficult for me to get my "fix" while recovering from this injury.

I know people--namely my sister and my friend Mel--who are, like me, somewhat obsessed with working out.  But for them it seems to be mostly the workout itself that's reinforcing (ooh, Behaviorist-speak.  Sorry; it creeps in from time to time).  For example, when we go to the cabin my sister has to work out while we're there, even if that means just a bike ride down the highway. Me? Not so much.  I'll happily go on a fun mountain bike ride on a cool trail when we're at the cabin, but a boring ride down the highway just to get exercise does nothing for me.  Mel, who suffered her own horrible inline crash a couple years ago, had some great suggestions for me about upperbody stuff I could do to get my "workout fix" while I'm recovering and while she was certainly right that it would be a workout, I knew it wouldn't be fun, it wouldn't be reinforcing, and it wouldn't help with the mood issues I'm experiencing--because for me the workout is only half of the equation, and without the other half, the workout routine, it just wouldn't work.

So, after a cranky day that ended up in a cranky evening during which I attempted to find some reinforcement in lots of non-Paleo eating (there's a blog post in and of itself), I did some Googling. Turns out there are many articles about post-injury depression in athletes; this one is CrossFit-focused and particularly good; I also found several triathlete-focused articles that addressed the issue of having all of one's workout routines disrupted by injury (triathletes, due to the volume of training they put in, tend to have their workouts form a large part of their daily routines; so they, like me, not only miss the workout itself, they also miss a large chunk of their usual daily schedule.)  One article even mentioned the changes in eating habits that can come with trying to recover from an injury (I'm currently the poster child for that).  It all made sense, it all sounded very familiar, and it was nice to know that I'm not alone and that what I'm experiencing is normal.  Sucky, but normal.

So the point of this long and somewhat whiny post, other than that I now find myself with just the tiniest of demons to wrestle with, is...well, I don't actually know what the point is.  Maybe the point is that I go back to work a week from today, and hope to start some modified upperbody-only CrossFit next week as well...and I'm hoping, and assuming, that after I start those two things,  life will start returning to normal and my tiny tiny demon will vanish.

Because it turns out I was right; I'd much rather write to entertain than to wrestle with demons, however small they might be.

I miss this version of me.

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

Well, after last week's whine I think I can finally say that I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.  Here, in no particular order, are the recent Big Thrills from the Long Track Rehab Life:

*i can move around the house with one crutch and even, when I'm moving extremely short distances like when I'm in the kitchen cooking, no crutches.  I move VERY slowly and cautiously, but man is it nice not to have to maneuver crutches or a scooter, even for a short period of time.

*i've started PT with Coach Tieguy's brother.  The exercises are very low level, but even so, between that and the increased weight bearing, my leg hurts more.  Still, it's nice to start doing something to rehab the leg.

*i went to CrossFit yesterday.  Well, sort of.  We had a two-hour Olympic lifting seminar--yesterday was the snatch--and although I couldn't participate at all I still didn't want to miss it.  I learned a lot, and it was so much fun just being back in the box--who would have thought that the smell of "sweaty rubber floor" and the sound of "CrossFit music" would be such effective mood-enhancers?  I still can't sit comfortably for more than a couple minues, even with my nice little blow-up cushion, so I got pretty tired standing on one leg.  I did take advantage of the "work on your PR" time to do some ring rows and to work on ring dips...they seem to be good exercises for working on upper body strength without involving the right leg.  I was quite glad to get back to my recliner after the seminar, though.

*After a couple of epic nosedives off the Paleo wagon, I'm getting back on track.  Mostly.

*Although I'm definitely not ready to be there yet, I can now envision being ready for work when I go back in two weeks.  I'm guessing the sitting will be the hard part, so I'm hoping that my leg will be strong enough by then to deal with standing most of the time.

*Things I'm most wanting to be able to do next: drive, and walk the dog.  Jim has been awesome about driving me where ever I need to go (although I only get out a couple of times a week), but I can't wait to be able to just jump in the car and go whenever I want.  As for the dog...she's been polishing her begging skills while waiting for "Daddy" to be ready to take her out these past three weeks ("Mommy" is the "jump up at the first whimper" person; "Daddy" is more of a "I'll get to it when It works into my schedule" kind of guy).  She's now progressed to standing in front of my recliner and carrying on an entire whine conversation, complete with "talking" mouth movements and changing facial expressions.  She reminds me of the dog in the "I gave it to the cat" video.  It's adorable and it cracks me up...but it also kills me that I can't just get up and take her out when she needs to go.

And that's all I've got...but it's nice to have things moving in the right direction.

It's Becoming Quite Clear...

At day 18 in my recovery from surgery to repair a hamstring avulsion, it's becoming quite clear.

I suck at this.

I haven't had an experience like this before.  I've had a couple surgeries--removing vocal nodules caused by yes, talking too much, and an ablation procedure to fix a heart arrhythmia; I've been sick, of course; and I've had some minor athletic injuries that have curtailed my activities a bit.  But I've never had any health issue that has had this big of an impact on my lifestyle, for this long (and I'm not even half way to being able to go back to work yet).  And I regret to say that I have now discovered that I really suck it.

Oh, I'm following the doctor's orders.  I'm bearing only as much weight as he allows and I'm avoiding the movements I'm supposed to avoid and I'm spending a lot of my time in the recliner letting things heal.  What I like to refer to as "Obsessive Compliance Disorder" is a strong part of my personality, and it will not allow me to go against doctor's orders.

No, compliance isn't the issue...it's other parts of my personality that are causing problems.  As I mentioned here, my usual way of moving through life is "fast and sloppy."  Well, when you're propelling yourself around the house on a scooter, or worse, on crutches, fast and sloppy doesn't work.  Jim tells me that it's possible to move both quickly and deliberately, but I haven't yet achieved it.  What I have achieved is ramming around the house on my scooter, crashing into the baseboard and running over my (bare) feet and leaving a trail of dropped and broken objects and lengthy and creative strings of cuss-words in my wake.  Jim has taken to warning the dog to stay out of my way, and he frequently asks me, with great solicitude (and from a safe distance) if I need anything--probably hoping to keep me in my recliner and thus spare the house from further scooter attacks.  And the scooter turning radius sucks, so even as my shoulder pain and knee pain are taking advantage of the break from CrossFit and skating to heal, I'm developing a new pain in my right wrist from picking up the front of the scooter and yanking it violently around to change directions.

And then there's the matter of reinforcers.  Remember, I'm a special ed teacher and behavior analyst--so I know what my reinforcers are.  And the two biggies for me are, unfortunately, working out and eating.  Normally these two play nicely together, but when one becomes unavailable, well, the other one tries to take up the slack.  Add to that the fact that cooking Paleo is harder than grabbing some random crap from the cupboards (tonight's cooking adventure ended up with bacon on the floor, an egg cracked into the garbage instead of the bowl, a bacon-grease-covered spatula bouncing off the stove and onto the floor, and Jim being once again treated to the breadth and depth of my less-than-appropriate vocabulary), and you have an unprecedented amount of pizza and ice cream making its way into my diet the past couple days.  Which of course makes me even more cranky.

So, much as I'd like to say that I'm enjoying my rest time and that I'm getting lots of productive things done in my recliner and that I'm appreciating the fact that my injury isn't permanent and that I'll be back on my feet relatively quickly...honesty compels me to admit that I suck at this.

My Granite Games Experience

Welcome to the Granite Games!

Of course, this is not the "My Granite Games Experience" post that I was hoping to write.  That one--or likely, those ones, because who am I kidding. there's no way I could blog about a three-day competition in less than three posts, minimum--that one would have been filled with harrowing tales of missed dubs and no-repped pullups, and thrilling stories of completed ring dips and epic 5K runs.  But when life gives you lemons--or, in this case, when life rips your hammie from the bone--you gotta go with what you've got, so this post will be filled with sore butts and knee scooters and epic performances by SISU athletes and coaches--and with gratitude for good friends.

I still can't drive, and hubby Jim is out of town coaching a woman's broomball tournament in Vegas. So while I really wanted to go to the GG, I wasn't sure how I was going to get there.  I had an offer from my SISU-member chiropractor to drive me to the GG--but I was reluctant to take him up on that because I knew it was quite possible that I'd only last an hour or so, and I didn't want to wreck his day by needing to leave early.

Enter my oldest and best friend Corinne--we've been friends since fate threw us into the same dorm room our freshman year at St. Olaf.  She volunteered to drive me to St. Cloud (an hour each way from my house, plus she lives almost an hour from me); to schlep my scooter and crutches and inflatable pillow around all day; and basically to hang out at the GG while I talked to people she doesn't know and we watched a competition in a sport she's barely heard of.

Now that's a friend!

(And she gets credit for the Quote of the Day:  when I asked her what she thought of her first CrossFit competition she replied "More 6-packs than a liquor store."  You can see why we're friends!)

So at 9:15 yesterday we piled me, the knee scooter, the crutches, three pillows, and a bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol into Corinne's car and headed for St. Cloud.  At my followup doctor's appointment last Wednesday the doctor encouraged me to start some light weight-bearing on my crutches, but I've discovered that, while it isn't painful at the time, weight-bearing results in pain at the hamstring re-attachment point for several hours afterwards.  Between that and the fact that I figured (due to pain when sitting) that I'd be spending a lot of time standing, the knee scooter, with its built-in knee rest, was the clear choice--but I wanted to bring the crutches just in case.  So we were pretty much loaded to the gills.

Once at St. Cloud, we worked our way through the hockey arena where the Elite, Rx, and Community Teams were competing to the fieldhouse, where the two-person teams and masters competitions were held.  And here we met our first obstacle--the flight of stairs from the hockey arena to the fieldhouse level.  And while Corinne was quite capable of getting my scooter down the stairs while I clutched the railing and did a hopping descent...well, there's no better place for two middle-aged women to need help moving a heavy scooter than a CrossFit competition.  Every time we approached those stairs throughout the day, I didn't get within 10 feet of them before some strapping young man or woman was offering to carry the scooter up or down the stairs for me.  Sweet!

Once in the fieldhouse, I paused a moment to take in the atmosphere.  Vendor booths, spectators, loud music, enthusiastic announcer, cheering spectators...it was just as I'd imagined it would be.  We were just in time to watch coaches Jason and Tyler work their way through the first WOD of the day (a chipper called "Unbroken"), and then to watch my class, the Women's 50+, attack the WOD.  Here they are:

There's an empty lane there with my name on it...

After that, it was time to watch Coach Pat--who's currently second in the Masters 45-49 class--crush Unbroken.  And then we wandered back to the hockey center--more helpful scooter-carriers--and watched Coach Alye, in Women's Rx, take on Unbroken.

Despite my keen desire to be out there struggling with the dubs and pullups with the rest of my class, I really had fun watching.  There were a lot of other SISU athletes there watching--and several more competing in two-person teams and on the Community team that we were logistically unable to watch--so there were plenty of people to bump into and chat with.  I ran into the guy from Game Day Competitions who had called me a "badass" in New Ulm and got to regale him with my latest tale of injury woe.  I even bumped into a former owner of SISU, who gave me hope for my comeback by giving me suggestions on how to workout my upper body while my hammie is still on the DL.

By the time we were done watching the first WOD, though, I figured I'd had enough.  It hurt to sit so I stood most of the time, which made my leg swell and my incision hurt.  So we headed out shortly before 2:00, intending to get lunch and then head home.  As we finished lunch at Culvers, though (Yes, I had ice cream.  Sometimes you just have to.)  Corinne asked me if I wanted to go back (we had "unlimited access" wristbands).

Sure, what the heck!

So we went back and watched the second WOD of the day, Cleans and Ring Dips or Muscle Ups.  And by the end of that one, I was truly done and couldn't wait to get back in the car (which is a painful place to sit as well) and head home to my recliner.

And today, I'm profoundly grateful that I'm not going back to work yet.  I can't imagine having to deal with the discomfort and mobility issues involved with being upright and mobile--and also with the careful avoidance of anything that might be remotely likely to cause me to re-tear the hammie repair--while also focusing on teaching.  I'm thinking that today will be a full-on "recliner recovery day."

And I am also profoundly grateful, post-GG, for having found a sport that is so much fun and that attracts such wonderful people; for having an injury that, while it has a lengthy recovery, is predicted to have a full recovery which will allow me to pursue CrossFit (oh, and skating, I guess) again; and mostly, for good friends who are willing to give up a whole day to allow me to indulge my hobby.

Even with a recently re-attached hammie and a four-inch incision below my butt--life is good.

A Few of My Favorite Things

(sorry the picture is at the bottom; I'm blogging using an app on the iPad since I can't sit at the desktop computer...and I don't know how to move the pictures)

Yes, this is the full-on "Diva Zone."  If you look closely, you can see many of my current favorites (my number one fave, of course, is helpful hubby Jim...but he's behind the camera).  There's my crutches...really only used for doing stairs; my father-in-law's walker, used before I got my knee walker (not quite as good as a Skywalker, I suppose); my personal industrial-sized fan for those industrial-sized hot flashes; my recliner with extra padding and multiple pillows; my two end tables, which I try to keep divided into "tech" and "food;" my barely visible Tupperware O' medication; and of course the TV remote.  My iPad, like Jim, is not in the picture because it's taking the picture.

And this is pretty much where I've been, night and day (minus a few bathroom visits, of course) since I got home from the hospital on Tuesday.

The surgery itself wasn't bad.  The anesthesiologist suggested a spinal rather than a general, which I think helped the recovery process, although there were  a few queasy moments that i attribute to the Fentanyl they shoved into my IV after I woke up.  All the nurses were very nice and I assume the doctor knew his stuff, because I'm told the hammy tendon is now sutured back to the bone (with the help of a couple screws) where it belongs.  And it turns out that a very small part of that tendon--10% or so--was actually still attached to the bone, which the MRI hadn't shown.  So that has to be a good thing.

And now here are a few random notes from the first four days after Operation Hammie Re-install:

-First and foremost--yes, this sucks.  I remind myself that in the grand scheme of "bad things that happen to people," this is pretty minor: not fatal, likely no permanent disability, and let's be honest, self-inflicted (I knew my clumsiness combined with my chosen sports would bite me in the ass sooner or later).  Still, I'll be honest--this sucks.

Moving on to more entertaining and enlightening thoughts...

-Probably regardless of your injury, a good recliner is worth its weight in gold.  We got one last year when my father in law had hip and knee surgery, and got the same one for him.   Prior to my injury I had probably sat in ours twice--I already had my firmly-established "favorite spot on the couch"--but now I live in it.  I even sleep in it most of the time.  Given the location of my injury and the location of the  incision, normal sitting is not possible right now but semi-reclined is awesome.   Even if you're not injured yet, get a recliner...and spring for a power-operated one.  Perfect positioning at the touch of a button.  Hmmm, wonder if I could get one of these in my classroom...

-It is not possible to have too many pillows.  I currently have four in constant use, including one that found its way home from the hospital with us and thus probably cost us $200 or something. Leg prop, arm rest, iPad support, dinner table...the uses are endless.  I have not yet used one as a projectile, but I'm not ruling it out.

-iPads and the internet are gifts from God.

-it's exceedingly frustrating--although probably ultimately a good thing--to have vast acreage of scabbing road rash that you can't reach to pick.  Most of you are thinking "eeewwww," but my inliner friends feel for me, don't you?

-Sometimes, even though you know that wheat and sugar are inflammatory and probably don't help the healing process, and you're trying to stay Paleo...well,sometimes you just really need a donut.  And when you ask your husband to pick one up for you, he will--if he's a smart man--forgo any comments like "that's not Paleo, is it?" and reply with "sure, honey; what kind would you like?"

-After surgery and four days spent almost exclusively in the above-mentioned recliner, a 200-yard knee walker excursion will feel like one of the nastier CrossFit WODs--only without the loud music, sweat, and fun--and will leave you almost as sore.

-And finally...friends and family are worth their weight in gold.  Whether they're on the front lines changing your hard-to-reach bandages and catering to your every whim (thanks, Honey!); visiting and  bringing food or company; or supporting from afar with Facebook, phone, or text--they are all wonderful and are what make this whole experience tolerable!

The Diva Zone

Twenty-six hours after surgery and I am (somewhat) comfortably ensconced in what hubby Jim refers to as "The Diva Zone."  The Zone includes my recliner (with foam mattress topper); a table on each side of the chair for essentials such as medications, water, iPad, phone remotes, and food; multiple pillows within easy reach for leg-propping and napping; my crutches propped within reach; and a fan aimed at my Diva Perch for hot flash mitigation (which then necessitates a blanket within reach as well).  The Diva Zone also includes a fully-functional Remote-Controlled Husband, who has been wonderful about retrieving things, making my coffee just right, taking care of the dog, and generally catering to my every whim.  Oh, and the Zone also frequently includes a large stinky dog parked in front of my fan; she's not the brightest bulb on the string but she's managed to figure out that fan=cool air=good.  So now Jim has two Divas to deal with.

Right now my favorite things (after Jim, of course) are: painkillers; recliner; iPad; TV; radio; and, of course, food.  I'm sorry to say that I abandoned Paleo yesterday for graham crackers (a LOT of graham crackers) with my pain meds; I'm looking for a more paleo-friendly option today, but bacon and broccoli just don't sound that appealing when you need to take meds at four am.

I'm hoping to get a rolly-scooter-thing soon; I didn't think I'd need one just for around the house, but it turns out that it's tiring to hold my foot up (no weight-bearing allowed) while crutching around--and also, I'm pretty clumsy with crutches (who would have guessed, right?).  Other than that there's not a lot going on...but it's nice to know that my current pain is an indicator of healing rather than a by-product of an untreated injury...at least now I'm on the road back to walking and CrossFitting and (maybe) skating.

Even if I'll be traveling the road on a rolly scooter for a while.

So Here's the Scoop...

I know it's been a few days since I updated, after I left you with pictures of a bloody knee and a report of a not-so-good MRI result.  I would have been back sooner but I've been busy trying to sit without using my right butt or leg; prepping my classroom for the start of school Tuesday; dressing my oozing (sorry) roadrash; meeting with the orthopedic surgeon, going to a pre-op doctor appointment, and dealing with all the scheduling stuff necessary pre-surgery.

Because yes, I need surgery.

Apparently my lateral hamstring tendon is completely torn off the bone, and the medial one is partially torn.  The only way to fix this is, well, to fix it.  Put a couple screws in my pelvic bone, suture the tendon to that, and wait for it to grow back into place.  Which, now that I think about it, means that I truly will have "buns of steel" forevermore.  Or at least, two tiny spots of steel somewhere in the right butt region.  Whatever.  So on Tuesday, instead of heading into my classroom for the first day of school, I'll be heading to the hospital to get things put back where they belong.

I'm trying to keep things in perspective (and I've had some really nice supportive thoughts from skating friends who have been there--thank you!), but it's a little tough right now.  Having to miss the Granite Games is, honestly, the most disappointing thing I can ever remember happening--not the worst thing, just the most disappointing in a massive "damn my birthday party got rained on" sort of way.  To make matters worse, the GG are now so close that my Facebook is continually cluttered with GG updates and ads and articles...way to twist the knife, guys!

In addition to the Granite Games issue, the thing I'm struggling with the most is that my usual modus operandi is "fast and sloppy" (I say that proudly; I inherited it from my dad, who has always gotten more done than 10 "careful" people.)  I walk fast, I talk fast, I think fast, I move fast (uh, no, Officer, I don't drive fast.  Huh uh.).   Sure, things get dropped or broken or tripped over (no, that's not how I crashed!) or completed somewhat half-assedly--but that's how I do things and, like my dad, I think I get a lot done.

Or, that's how I used to do things.  Now I creep around like Tim Conway in a Carol Burnett skit (I know, I know...I just lost all the young 'uns.  Google it) and it takes me forever to get into or out of a chair, get up or down the stairs, or walk somewhere.  And when I do walk somewhere, while it's not too terribly painful (apparently detached muscles don't hurt too much), I tend--thanks to needing to keep my right leg straight and swing it wide on each step--to resemble a cowboy who's been in the saddle too long, or a baby who's been in the diaper too long.  Lovely.

Then there's the matter of driving.  I can't.  And while the Hubster Jim has been awesome about chaufferring me wherever I need to go...well, I'm always early and he's...usually not.  So that's a bit stressful.

Anyway, right now it's a waiting game.  No healing is happening so I can't even console myself by thinking "well, at least it's getting better every day"--because it's not. Not until that tendon is dragged back into place (my, that sounds fun, doesn't it?).  I need to take advantage of this time, though, because I'm told that I should do as little as possible the first two weeks after surgery, to allow the tendon to start to heal back to the bone.  No going to work, limited moving around.  So this weekend I think I'll need to do some Paleo cooking, get a few good books and DVD's lined up, and make sure my recliner is set up with some foam padding.  It's already the only comfortable place to sit and, on a few long nights, sleep; I'm sure that after the surgery the recliner and I will be pretty much inseparable.

If you're looking for me in the next two weeks,

you know where to find me.

So that's the scoop, delivered (sorry) in somewhat whiney fashion.  Hopefully once my hamstring is put back into place my usual cheery optimism will follow...

This is NOT the Post I Wanted to be Writing Today

I could have written about a lot of things today:  it's the first day back to work for me (pre-school workshops) after my summer off; I had an amazing time last weekend celebrating the life and wonderful spirit of my Aunt Kristi; my Granite Games prep is going well and I even got my first ring dip yesterday; my injured calf is about 98% recovered and I was able to both run and jump rope yesterday for the first time since the injury 10 days ago.

Instead of writing about any of these things, though, I need to write about this:

I've soared to new heights in the "cover yourself

in neoprene" department.

Yes, those are my legs, my ace bandage, my immobilizer, my crutches.

"Damn" doesn't even begin to cover it.

After an aweome CrossFit WOD yesterday morning, in which I achieved the above-mentioned "first ever ring dip"--which is especially significant because I know the Masters class has to do ring dips in the Granite Games--I headed home and prepared for the second workout of the day, inline skating at the oval.  Since my calf injury had prevented me from skating in over two weeks, I planned an easy endurance skate to ease back into things: five sets of four laps at a nice moderate pace.

And it started off well.  I was delighted to be able to jog my usual warmup lap with only a tiny twinge from my calf.  Sets one through four of the workout went fine; decent lap times, technique felt pretty good, no complaints from the calf.

Then I started set five.

For set five I wanted to really focus on technique--the "fall,"  the "carve," the knee drive.  My whole goal in inlining is to build the right muscles for long track ice and to work on all of the technical aspects of long track that I struggle with, and endurance workouts in particular lend themselves to focusing on technique since the intensity is lower.

So as I completed the second lap of the four lap set I was thinking about what my skates were doing.  I hit the stopwatch to record my lap time and tried to get the proper long track technique down the straightaway.  Knee drive/set down left skate/push with right...compress that right leg in preparation for the carve and then the push...

...and then  WHAM.

I have no idea what happened.  No one was near me, no interference, no issues until I suddenly found myself heading for the concrete.  And this is where things went horribly wrong.

People fall on inline skates all the time.  The iconic "inline road rash" is a nice oval of skin removed from the outer calf/shin area.  That and a scraped elbow or knee bruise is all most people suffer when they bite it on their inlines.

But I had to be different.  As I fell--perhaps it was a subconscious attempt to spare my knee-padless knees, perhaps it was just the way I happened to fall--I stuck out my right leg, which then somehow came to a very abrupt stop.

Which my right hamstring was extremely unhappy with.

Damn, that hurt.

So I rolled around on the oval for a bit, clutching my hamstring and surveying my scraped and gouged left knee and shin.  Then I tried to stand up.

Holy mother of hamstring pain, Batman.  Standing up was clearly not going to be in my repertoire for quite some time.  Not only could I not bear any weight on my right leg, I couldn't even straighten it past about 90 degrees.

Somehow I managed to get my skates, helmet, wrist guards, and sunglasses off, and then surveyed my options.  There was no way I was getting from the center of the track back to the bleachers on my own, and the only people around were two teenage boys in the skate park.  Fortunately I had had no cause to yell at them for cutting across the track earlier--they had been very well-behaved--because now I needed them.

"Hey guys," I yelled.  They appeared startled to be thus summoned by the middle-aged lady rolling around on the track in the midst of a veritable yard sale of inline gear, but they came over, saw my bloody knee, and immediately offered to help.  It took the support of the two of them--and two stops for pain management--to cover the 50 feet from the track to the bleachers.  By the end of the trip I was apologizing to the boys for expanding their vocabularies.

"No problem," said one.  "We talk like that too."

Back on the bleachers, I surveyed the damage. My left leg was scuffed, but that wasn't the problem.

Just a flesh wound...

The problem, of course, was the right hammy.  The one that was causing more pain than I've felt since I crashed my dirt bike and smashed my knee 25 years ago.  The one that was not allowing me to straighten my leg or put any weight at all on it.

Fortunately the Hubster--oh hell, let's just call him Jim--fortunately Jim had driven me to the oval.  This happens about twice a year (because you know how I love my loud music and cold car pre-workout), so it was unbelievably good timing that yesterday was one of those days--because there is no way I could have driven.  Jim drove me to urgent care, and then (after an excruciatingly painful exam that sent pretty much every muscle in the back of my right leg into a massive cramp) on to the orthopedic walk-in clinic.  There, I got an x-ray, a knee immobilizer (which I couldn't wear unless I was lying down because otherwise it put too much strain on my hamstring) and the promise of an MRI the next day.

My right leg is not bent just to hold the clipboard of paperwork;

that's as straight as I can get it.  Without screaming, anyway.

And now it's the next day, post-MRI, and I'll cut to the chase: total rupture of the hamstring tendon, and a consult with an orthopedic doctor tomorrow to see if surgery is necessary.

Double damn.

Obviously I'm extremely unhappy about not being able to compete in the Granite Games--but I had an awesomely fun summer training for them, even if I now can't compete.  I'll wait until after the consult tomorrow to figure out what else the future holds, in terms of skating this winter, return to CrossFit, etc.  Right now my plan is to go to the Granite Games and cheer my lungs our for my SISU teammates, and then start training for the 2015 Granite Games qualifier as soon as I'm allowed back in the box.    On the bright side,  I should have plenty of time to get in shape for next year's Granite Games...and plenty of time for all my other more minor injuries to heal, as well.  So while it certainly could be better, it also could have been worse.  

At least, that's what I keep reminding myself...

New Ulm Action Shots

Fellow SISU-ite and New Ulm competitor Amy got some great action shots at the competition...thanks Amy!

Here I am in my important role as med-ball-clutcher:

C'mon, hurry up with those box jumps...this ball is getting heavy!

Snatches. Yes, I'm wearing tights; they were my first attempt at keeping my calf warm.  One hot flash and I vetoed those babies...

Good thing "bar completely level" is not

a required component of the lift

Here's Jessica hitting a ground-to-overhead (I think it's 105; she went on to get 110):

Nice job!

And here's me, getting my 105 jerk PR:

Bar cleaned, goofy expression in place.  I'm ready to try the jerk.

Uh, oh...I don't think this is going to end well...

(and yes, it does rather look as though I'm about to

fling my bar onto the unsuspecting woman in front of me)

Surprise--and delight!

Nothing better than a day filled with good people, hard work...and PR's.