Long Time No Post

I see that it's been 10 days since I posted; this is partly because I've gone back to work and am now busy again, and partly because things are pretty quiet around here.  Here's what's been going on:

• Work is going well, except for the sitting.  My students are now used to seeing me carrying a pillow with me wherever I go, and have even reminded me to go get it when I forget and leave it on another chair.  Even with a pillow, though, there's just no good way to sit, and by the end of the day I always have a fairly significant pain in the ass.  Oh, well...this too shall pass.
• My custom CrossFit workouts are fun.  Not as fun as "real" CrossFit, of course, because I'm working out by myself which is not nearly as entertaining as working out in a group, and also I can't do the usual "high intensity" CrossFit-style stuff--yes, I actually miss collapsing on the ground like roadkill after a WOD.  But I'm getting a good workout and it's nice to have my bicep tendinitis pain (which I've had since March) finally be gone--seven weeks off will cure a lot of what ails you, I guess.
• I am apparently not Lifetime Fitness material.  Within one week of beginning my membership, I have: lost my card; forgotten my hairbrush post-swimming--twice; almost walked into the men's locker room; overlooked the full-sized towels and brought a "sweat wiper" sized towel to the shower with me, which really wasn't sufficient for the job; and incurred many a confused look from the Lululemon-clad chicks in the cardio room as I hopped from machine to machine, spending no more than 2 minutes on each in my quest to find the most hammy-friendly cardio exercise.  Still, I'm sticking with it until I'm able to jog again, because I really have no other cardio options.  And I'm finally getting a chance to work on my swimming, which may come in handy some time or other.
• I think I've finally gotten back on the Paleo wagon for good...but not before I outgrew a few pairs of pants.  Good thing I'm able to work out again!

So all in all, recovery is going well, work is going well, workouts are going well.  All is good.

If That Was a Demon...I Guess This is an Exorcism

Wikipedia (I know, I know) defines "exorcism" as "the practice of evicting demons or other spiritual entities from a person or an area they are believed to have possessed."  My last post was about the particular "demon" I've been dealing with lately while recovering from my hamstring surgery...and now I'm happy to say that, as of Friday, I have officially evicted the Demon of Supreme Crankiness that had been possessing me.

All it took was a workout and a car.

I knew I was really missing working out, of course, so I was very excited when, on Friday, I got to do my first official workout in 45 days.  Coach Jason at SISU wrote up a nice hammy-avoidant upper body workout for me, and between that and the numerous glute-strengthening exercises my physical therapist has given me (he's my old speedskating coach's brother, so he understands the value of functional glutes and wants me to strengthen them before I really start working on strengthening the hammies themselves), I had a good 45 minutes of work to do.  Despite needing to lift really light weights--at least I didn't have to go back to the 15-pound bar, though--it was a lot of fun.  The only thing missing was cardio; I can't run or row or use a regular spinning bike yet.  Coach Jason suggested I (gasp!) join LifeTime Fitness or something similar and try swimming, the elliptical machine, recumbent biking, and anything else they might have that might allow me to get out of breath without using my hamstring.  So, never being one to spend too long pondering these things, I stopped in at LifeTime on the way home and signed up.  


So by Friday afternoon, the workout drought had ended and I was mildly ecstatic as a result.  I had expected the return to working out to make my happy, though...what I hadn't expected was the secondary mood-elevator that piggybacked on the workout endorphins:  driving.  I have to drive to get to where I workout, you know...and it turns out that driving is a big source of fun for me.

I knew I liked driving, of course.  I guess I just hadn't realized how much I like it.  Part of the enjoyment  is just having the freedom to jump in the car any time and go anywhere.  Forgot an item on your last trip to the store?  Need to go to PT?  Suddenly decide you need a Monster Energy Drink realize that you're out of kale for that protein smoothie?  No problem...just grab the keys and go.

So freedom is nice, of course, but it turns out that there's another reason I love driving--singing.  I like to sing.  Unfortunately, no one else likes me to sing (understandably!), so I limit it to when I'm alone in the car, usually on my way to workouts when I'm playing my "pre-workout" playlist.  I guess I hadn't realized the mood-elevating properties of bellowing along to my favorite songs, but as soon as I hit that first (undoubtedly wrong) note, the Happy Meter was pegged.

So between the lifting and the singing, life is good.  Of course, the enjoyment doesn't come without a couple negatives; I'm a little sore from the working out, and driving is actually the most painful thing I currently do.  Part of the pain is just from having to sit normally on a seat, rather than being able to perch on the edge to avoid the unhappy incision site and hamstring attachment site.  Braking is also painful because of the movement required of the hamstring.  Race-car-driver-and-general-gearhead Jim suggests "left foot braking," but I remind him that I'm "whole body uncoordinated" and so that just doesn't sound like a good idea to me.  So I pay a bit of a pain penalty for my freedom and song, and usually end up parking in the recliner for a nice comfortable rest as soon as I get home.  Which could be a problem, of course, because I go back to work tomorrow and there is no recliner in my classroom.

Oh, well...a little pain is a small price to pay for exorcising the Demon of Crankiness.

Does This Qualify as a Demon?

Usually, I write to entertain. In fact, I spelled this out pretty thoroughly in my third blog post ever, back in June of 2011.  For those who don't want to follow the link back into history, the short version is this:  I was an American Studies and Creative Writing major in college, but apparently not a very good one--my creative writing prof once told me that, while I had great command of the English language, I had absolutely nothing to say.  It wasn't enough just to entertain, he said; no, I needed to "wrestle with some demons" in my writing.

Well, being a nice middle-class student at a nice middle-class college, I had no demons.  And, I'm happy to say, I really have had very few demons in the thirty-plus years since then.  So, lacking anything to "wrestle with," I've been writing to entertain ever since.  (I suspect that often I myself may be the only one I'm entertaining, but what the heck...I admit to being self-absorbed enough that I thoroughly enjoy my own writing.)

But now...I may have just the tiniest demon to write about.

Physically, my recovery from my hamstring avulsion and surgery is going fantastically.  Thanks in part to having a doctor who approaches rehab a bit more aggressively than most, at almost five weeks post-surgery I'm doing way more than I expected to be doing.  Most people with this surgery have a knee brace or, more rarely, a hip brace for the first six weeks or so post-op, to prevent them from making any movements that would stretch the hamstring and thus potentially cause re-injury.  My doctor did not use a brace with me, and had me begin weight bearing much earlier than many doctors do; he feels that as long as you're in controlled situations, this doesn't pose a risk of re-injury and prevents a lot of other issues that arise when you're basically immobile for six weeks.  So today, at the point when many people are still hobbling around in a brace and using crutches with no weight bearing allowed, I'm able to walk a mile or so, go up and down stairs with a normal gait pattern, and to drive short distances (What?  Yes, I know, recovery is not a contest.  But if it was, I'd be kickin' butt.)  I'm still off work for one more week, because the hamstring attachment site is still quite vulnerable for six weeks after surgery, and my job is unpredictable enough that my doctor doesn't want me in a situation that might result in re-injury until that six week mark has passed.  But all in all, physically, my recovery is going great.

Mentally and emotionally, not so much.

It turns out that my previous post about the light at the end of the tunnel might have been a bit premature.  My post before that, about sucking at being a patient, is actually much more accurate.  While I'm delighted that I can now move around without crutches or a scooter, walk the dog, drive short distances, and put my pants on without dangling them from a coathanger hook because I can't bend my knee far enough to reach my foot, ...much as I'm delighted to be able to do all that and more, I'm still having a really hard time with this.

I like to think I'm a pretty introspective person by nature.  Between that and my training as a Behavior Analyst having given me a lens through which to view human behavior, I do know what's going on (doesn't make me like it or deal with it any better, but at least I understand it).  Basically, my whole focus all summer was working out.  Mostly training for the Granite Games, of course, but also keeping up my speedskating training (which, of course, turned out to be a very bad idea).  Between CrossFit workouts, extra work at CrossFit, skating, stretching, foam rolling, and driving to and from workouts, I was spending probably 20-25 hours a week on working out--and loving every minute of it.  I loved the workouts themselves, the progress I was making, the weight I had lost and the new muscles I had found (I think I might have even glimpsed an ab at one point).  I was truly having the most fun summer I had had in as long as I could remember...and it all came to a complete and sudden stop at 4:45 on August 25.  In the split second it took to crash and tear my hamstring, I went from 90 mph to zero, and none of the stuff that I was enjoying so much was available to me any more.

No wonder I'm depressed and cranky.

Yesterday was a particularly frustrating day.  I went to the second of three Olympic lifting seminars put on by CrossFit SISU, and like the first seminar last week, this one contained a wealth of information and I was glad I went...but while last time I found it fun to be back in the box--even if only as a spectator--this time I just found it depressing.  Despite having progressed to being able to walk without crutches now, I realized that I'm only able to do about 1% of the stuff that we do in CrossFit--no lifts that involve the lower body, of course, but also no simple stretches, no warmup jog, no anything that requires anything more of the lower body than simply standing in one place.  And being back in the box also made me more aware of the fact that it's not just the working out that I miss; it's the routine of working out.

I am fully aware that I'm a very routine-oriented person (some have even used the term "rigid," but I choose not to listen to them).  I have my coffee out of the same mug every morning and I have my (Paleo) granola in the same bowl every morning and I have my routines for walking the dog and driving to work and watching TV...and, of course, for working out.  I love the routines of packing up for CrossFit or skating and getting the right songs on the iPod playlist and driving to the workout...in fact, I love the routines almost as much as I love the workouts themselves.  And unfortunately, this love of the routine as well as the workout makes it much more difficult for me to get my "fix" while recovering from this injury.

I know people--namely my sister and my friend Mel--who are, like me, somewhat obsessed with working out.  But for them it seems to be mostly the workout itself that's reinforcing (ooh, Behaviorist-speak.  Sorry; it creeps in from time to time).  For example, when we go to the cabin my sister has to work out while we're there, even if that means just a bike ride down the highway. Me? Not so much.  I'll happily go on a fun mountain bike ride on a cool trail when we're at the cabin, but a boring ride down the highway just to get exercise does nothing for me.  Mel, who suffered her own horrible inline crash a couple years ago, had some great suggestions for me about upperbody stuff I could do to get my "workout fix" while I'm recovering and while she was certainly right that it would be a workout, I knew it wouldn't be fun, it wouldn't be reinforcing, and it wouldn't help with the mood issues I'm experiencing--because for me the workout is only half of the equation, and without the other half, the workout routine, it just wouldn't work.

So, after a cranky day that ended up in a cranky evening during which I attempted to find some reinforcement in lots of non-Paleo eating (there's a blog post in and of itself), I did some Googling. Turns out there are many articles about post-injury depression in athletes; this one is CrossFit-focused and particularly good; I also found several triathlete-focused articles that addressed the issue of having all of one's workout routines disrupted by injury (triathletes, due to the volume of training they put in, tend to have their workouts form a large part of their daily routines; so they, like me, not only miss the workout itself, they also miss a large chunk of their usual daily schedule.)  One article even mentioned the changes in eating habits that can come with trying to recover from an injury (I'm currently the poster child for that).  It all made sense, it all sounded very familiar, and it was nice to know that I'm not alone and that what I'm experiencing is normal.  Sucky, but normal.

So the point of this long and somewhat whiny post, other than that I now find myself with just the tiniest of demons to wrestle with, is...well, I don't actually know what the point is.  Maybe the point is that I go back to work a week from today, and hope to start some modified upperbody-only CrossFit next week as well...and I'm hoping, and assuming, that after I start those two things,  life will start returning to normal and my tiny tiny demon will vanish.

Because it turns out I was right; I'd much rather write to entertain than to wrestle with demons, however small they might be.

I miss this version of me.

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

Well, after last week's whine I think I can finally say that I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.  Here, in no particular order, are the recent Big Thrills from the Long Track Rehab Life:

*i can move around the house with one crutch and even, when I'm moving extremely short distances like when I'm in the kitchen cooking, no crutches.  I move VERY slowly and cautiously, but man is it nice not to have to maneuver crutches or a scooter, even for a short period of time.

*i've started PT with Coach Tieguy's brother.  The exercises are very low level, but even so, between that and the increased weight bearing, my leg hurts more.  Still, it's nice to start doing something to rehab the leg.

*i went to CrossFit yesterday.  Well, sort of.  We had a two-hour Olympic lifting seminar--yesterday was the snatch--and although I couldn't participate at all I still didn't want to miss it.  I learned a lot, and it was so much fun just being back in the box--who would have thought that the smell of "sweaty rubber floor" and the sound of "CrossFit music" would be such effective mood-enhancers?  I still can't sit comfortably for more than a couple minues, even with my nice little blow-up cushion, so I got pretty tired standing on one leg.  I did take advantage of the "work on your PR" time to do some ring rows and to work on ring dips...they seem to be good exercises for working on upper body strength without involving the right leg.  I was quite glad to get back to my recliner after the seminar, though.

*After a couple of epic nosedives off the Paleo wagon, I'm getting back on track.  Mostly.

*Although I'm definitely not ready to be there yet, I can now envision being ready for work when I go back in two weeks.  I'm guessing the sitting will be the hard part, so I'm hoping that my leg will be strong enough by then to deal with standing most of the time.

*Things I'm most wanting to be able to do next: drive, and walk the dog.  Jim has been awesome about driving me where ever I need to go (although I only get out a couple of times a week), but I can't wait to be able to just jump in the car and go whenever I want.  As for the dog...she's been polishing her begging skills while waiting for "Daddy" to be ready to take her out these past three weeks ("Mommy" is the "jump up at the first whimper" person; "Daddy" is more of a "I'll get to it when It works into my schedule" kind of guy).  She's now progressed to standing in front of my recliner and carrying on an entire whine conversation, complete with "talking" mouth movements and changing facial expressions.  She reminds me of the dog in the "I gave it to the cat" video.  It's adorable and it cracks me up...but it also kills me that I can't just get up and take her out when she needs to go.

And that's all I've got...but it's nice to have things moving in the right direction.

It's Becoming Quite Clear...

At day 18 in my recovery from surgery to repair a hamstring avulsion, it's becoming quite clear.

I suck at this.

I haven't had an experience like this before.  I've had a couple surgeries--removing vocal nodules caused by yes, talking too much, and an ablation procedure to fix a heart arrhythmia; I've been sick, of course; and I've had some minor athletic injuries that have curtailed my activities a bit.  But I've never had any health issue that has had this big of an impact on my lifestyle, for this long (and I'm not even half way to being able to go back to work yet).  And I regret to say that I have now discovered that I really suck it.

Oh, I'm following the doctor's orders.  I'm bearing only as much weight as he allows and I'm avoiding the movements I'm supposed to avoid and I'm spending a lot of my time in the recliner letting things heal.  What I like to refer to as "Obsessive Compliance Disorder" is a strong part of my personality, and it will not allow me to go against doctor's orders.

No, compliance isn't the issue...it's other parts of my personality that are causing problems.  As I mentioned here, my usual way of moving through life is "fast and sloppy."  Well, when you're propelling yourself around the house on a scooter, or worse, on crutches, fast and sloppy doesn't work.  Jim tells me that it's possible to move both quickly and deliberately, but I haven't yet achieved it.  What I have achieved is ramming around the house on my scooter, crashing into the baseboard and running over my (bare) feet and leaving a trail of dropped and broken objects and lengthy and creative strings of cuss-words in my wake.  Jim has taken to warning the dog to stay out of my way, and he frequently asks me, with great solicitude (and from a safe distance) if I need anything--probably hoping to keep me in my recliner and thus spare the house from further scooter attacks.  And the scooter turning radius sucks, so even as my shoulder pain and knee pain are taking advantage of the break from CrossFit and skating to heal, I'm developing a new pain in my right wrist from picking up the front of the scooter and yanking it violently around to change directions.

And then there's the matter of reinforcers.  Remember, I'm a special ed teacher and behavior analyst--so I know what my reinforcers are.  And the two biggies for me are, unfortunately, working out and eating.  Normally these two play nicely together, but when one becomes unavailable, well, the other one tries to take up the slack.  Add to that the fact that cooking Paleo is harder than grabbing some random crap from the cupboards (tonight's cooking adventure ended up with bacon on the floor, an egg cracked into the garbage instead of the bowl, a bacon-grease-covered spatula bouncing off the stove and onto the floor, and Jim being once again treated to the breadth and depth of my less-than-appropriate vocabulary), and you have an unprecedented amount of pizza and ice cream making its way into my diet the past couple days.  Which of course makes me even more cranky.

So, much as I'd like to say that I'm enjoying my rest time and that I'm getting lots of productive things done in my recliner and that I'm appreciating the fact that my injury isn't permanent and that I'll be back on my feet relatively quickly...honesty compels me to admit that I suck at this.

My Granite Games Experience

Welcome to the Granite Games!

Of course, this is not the "My Granite Games Experience" post that I was hoping to write.  That one--or likely, those ones, because who am I kidding. there's no way I could blog about a three-day competition in less than three posts, minimum--that one would have been filled with harrowing tales of missed dubs and no-repped pullups, and thrilling stories of completed ring dips and epic 5K runs.  But when life gives you lemons--or, in this case, when life rips your hammie from the bone--you gotta go with what you've got, so this post will be filled with sore butts and knee scooters and epic performances by SISU athletes and coaches--and with gratitude for good friends.

I still can't drive, and hubby Jim is out of town coaching a woman's broomball tournament in Vegas. So while I really wanted to go to the GG, I wasn't sure how I was going to get there.  I had an offer from my SISU-member chiropractor to drive me to the GG--but I was reluctant to take him up on that because I knew it was quite possible that I'd only last an hour or so, and I didn't want to wreck his day by needing to leave early.

Enter my oldest and best friend Corinne--we've been friends since fate threw us into the same dorm room our freshman year at St. Olaf.  She volunteered to drive me to St. Cloud (an hour each way from my house, plus she lives almost an hour from me); to schlep my scooter and crutches and inflatable pillow around all day; and basically to hang out at the GG while I talked to people she doesn't know and we watched a competition in a sport she's barely heard of.

Now that's a friend!

(And she gets credit for the Quote of the Day:  when I asked her what she thought of her first CrossFit competition she replied "More 6-packs than a liquor store."  You can see why we're friends!)

So at 9:15 yesterday we piled me, the knee scooter, the crutches, three pillows, and a bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol into Corinne's car and headed for St. Cloud.  At my followup doctor's appointment last Wednesday the doctor encouraged me to start some light weight-bearing on my crutches, but I've discovered that, while it isn't painful at the time, weight-bearing results in pain at the hamstring re-attachment point for several hours afterwards.  Between that and the fact that I figured (due to pain when sitting) that I'd be spending a lot of time standing, the knee scooter, with its built-in knee rest, was the clear choice--but I wanted to bring the crutches just in case.  So we were pretty much loaded to the gills.

Once at St. Cloud, we worked our way through the hockey arena where the Elite, Rx, and Community Teams were competing to the fieldhouse, where the two-person teams and masters competitions were held.  And here we met our first obstacle--the flight of stairs from the hockey arena to the fieldhouse level.  And while Corinne was quite capable of getting my scooter down the stairs while I clutched the railing and did a hopping descent...well, there's no better place for two middle-aged women to need help moving a heavy scooter than a CrossFit competition.  Every time we approached those stairs throughout the day, I didn't get within 10 feet of them before some strapping young man or woman was offering to carry the scooter up or down the stairs for me.  Sweet!

Once in the fieldhouse, I paused a moment to take in the atmosphere.  Vendor booths, spectators, loud music, enthusiastic announcer, cheering spectators...it was just as I'd imagined it would be.  We were just in time to watch coaches Jason and Tyler work their way through the first WOD of the day (a chipper called "Unbroken"), and then to watch my class, the Women's 50+, attack the WOD.  Here they are:

There's an empty lane there with my name on it...

After that, it was time to watch Coach Pat--who's currently second in the Masters 45-49 class--crush Unbroken.  And then we wandered back to the hockey center--more helpful scooter-carriers--and watched Coach Alye, in Women's Rx, take on Unbroken.

Despite my keen desire to be out there struggling with the dubs and pullups with the rest of my class, I really had fun watching.  There were a lot of other SISU athletes there watching--and several more competing in two-person teams and on the Community team that we were logistically unable to watch--so there were plenty of people to bump into and chat with.  I ran into the guy from Game Day Competitions who had called me a "badass" in New Ulm and got to regale him with my latest tale of injury woe.  I even bumped into a former owner of SISU, who gave me hope for my comeback by giving me suggestions on how to workout my upper body while my hammie is still on the DL.

By the time we were done watching the first WOD, though, I figured I'd had enough.  It hurt to sit so I stood most of the time, which made my leg swell and my incision hurt.  So we headed out shortly before 2:00, intending to get lunch and then head home.  As we finished lunch at Culvers, though (Yes, I had ice cream.  Sometimes you just have to.)  Corinne asked me if I wanted to go back (we had "unlimited access" wristbands).

Sure, what the heck!

So we went back and watched the second WOD of the day, Cleans and Ring Dips or Muscle Ups.  And by the end of that one, I was truly done and couldn't wait to get back in the car (which is a painful place to sit as well) and head home to my recliner.

And today, I'm profoundly grateful that I'm not going back to work yet.  I can't imagine having to deal with the discomfort and mobility issues involved with being upright and mobile--and also with the careful avoidance of anything that might be remotely likely to cause me to re-tear the hammie repair--while also focusing on teaching.  I'm thinking that today will be a full-on "recliner recovery day."

And I am also profoundly grateful, post-GG, for having found a sport that is so much fun and that attracts such wonderful people; for having an injury that, while it has a lengthy recovery, is predicted to have a full recovery which will allow me to pursue CrossFit (oh, and skating, I guess) again; and mostly, for good friends who are willing to give up a whole day to allow me to indulge my hobby.

Even with a recently re-attached hammie and a four-inch incision below my butt--life is good.

A Few of My Favorite Things

(sorry the picture is at the bottom; I'm blogging using an app on the iPad since I can't sit at the desktop computer...and I don't know how to move the pictures)

Yes, this is the full-on "Diva Zone."  If you look closely, you can see many of my current favorites (my number one fave, of course, is helpful hubby Jim...but he's behind the camera).  There's my crutches...really only used for doing stairs; my father-in-law's walker, used before I got my knee walker (not quite as good as a Skywalker, I suppose); my personal industrial-sized fan for those industrial-sized hot flashes; my recliner with extra padding and multiple pillows; my two end tables, which I try to keep divided into "tech" and "food;" my barely visible Tupperware O' medication; and of course the TV remote.  My iPad, like Jim, is not in the picture because it's taking the picture.

And this is pretty much where I've been, night and day (minus a few bathroom visits, of course) since I got home from the hospital on Tuesday.

The surgery itself wasn't bad.  The anesthesiologist suggested a spinal rather than a general, which I think helped the recovery process, although there were  a few queasy moments that i attribute to the Fentanyl they shoved into my IV after I woke up.  All the nurses were very nice and I assume the doctor knew his stuff, because I'm told the hammy tendon is now sutured back to the bone (with the help of a couple screws) where it belongs.  And it turns out that a very small part of that tendon--10% or so--was actually still attached to the bone, which the MRI hadn't shown.  So that has to be a good thing.

And now here are a few random notes from the first four days after Operation Hammie Re-install:

-First and foremost--yes, this sucks.  I remind myself that in the grand scheme of "bad things that happen to people," this is pretty minor: not fatal, likely no permanent disability, and let's be honest, self-inflicted (I knew my clumsiness combined with my chosen sports would bite me in the ass sooner or later).  Still, I'll be honest--this sucks.

Moving on to more entertaining and enlightening thoughts...

-Probably regardless of your injury, a good recliner is worth its weight in gold.  We got one last year when my father in law had hip and knee surgery, and got the same one for him.   Prior to my injury I had probably sat in ours twice--I already had my firmly-established "favorite spot on the couch"--but now I live in it.  I even sleep in it most of the time.  Given the location of my injury and the location of the  incision, normal sitting is not possible right now but semi-reclined is awesome.   Even if you're not injured yet, get a recliner...and spring for a power-operated one.  Perfect positioning at the touch of a button.  Hmmm, wonder if I could get one of these in my classroom...

-It is not possible to have too many pillows.  I currently have four in constant use, including one that found its way home from the hospital with us and thus probably cost us $200 or something. Leg prop, arm rest, iPad support, dinner table...the uses are endless.  I have not yet used one as a projectile, but I'm not ruling it out.

-iPads and the internet are gifts from God.

-it's exceedingly frustrating--although probably ultimately a good thing--to have vast acreage of scabbing road rash that you can't reach to pick.  Most of you are thinking "eeewwww," but my inliner friends feel for me, don't you?

-Sometimes, even though you know that wheat and sugar are inflammatory and probably don't help the healing process, and you're trying to stay Paleo...well,sometimes you just really need a donut.  And when you ask your husband to pick one up for you, he will--if he's a smart man--forgo any comments like "that's not Paleo, is it?" and reply with "sure, honey; what kind would you like?"

-After surgery and four days spent almost exclusively in the above-mentioned recliner, a 200-yard knee walker excursion will feel like one of the nastier CrossFit WODs--only without the loud music, sweat, and fun--and will leave you almost as sore.

-And finally...friends and family are worth their weight in gold.  Whether they're on the front lines changing your hard-to-reach bandages and catering to your every whim (thanks, Honey!); visiting and  bringing food or company; or supporting from afar with Facebook, phone, or text--they are all wonderful and are what make this whole experience tolerable!