SLC Masters Camp--Day 1

Random thoughts after the first day of the Masters camp in Salt Lake City:

• The TSA is now happy to allow you to carry on your speedskates--complete with their 16.5-inch blades, honed to surgical-scalpel sharpness.  They will not, however, allow you to carry on your mini-Leatherman's tool with its dull 1.5 inch blade.
• Subaru Imprezas (my car back home is an older Impreza) now have automatic transmissions with the stupid "I want to pretend I'm driving a manual, without having to use a clutch" option.  If you do not know this and accidentally shift into this mode instead of into "Drive," you will be baffled as to why your "automatic transmission" vehicle suddenly appears to be in need of a shift as you accelerate down the road leaving the airport.  Fortunately, if you paw blindly at the shifter, you are likely to accidentally push it into the much-needed higher gear, thus averting disaster and allowing you to complete the rest of the drive to your hotel (prodding the shifter whenever the engine begins redlining)--although still none the wiser as to how to get out of this mode, or indeed, whether it's even possible to get out of this mode.  Acquiring this vital knowledge will require a phone call home to car expert Hubster, and a quick perusal of the Impreza owner's manual.
• When you're using your Garmin "Nuvi" GPS, and you're ignoring Nuvi's directions because you "kind of know where you're going" and don't like what she's telling you, after the third or fourth time you disregard her direction you might expect to hear a hint of exasperation in her voice, perhaps even a "bitch, if you're just going to ignore me anyway, why did you turn me on?"  But no--Nuvi will continue to deliver her "ReCALculating" in the same calm, patient tone.  Nuvi is obviously not a perimenopausal woman.

OK, on to skating!  On Thursday, we had a skating session and a dryland session.  Here are some observations from Thursday:

• It is apparently possible to become quite fatigued and out of breath when doing static on-ice skating drills (gliding on two feet in proper skating position, etc.).  I was amazed to discover that I was breathing hard after doing two laps of pretty much not moving any body parts.
• I was not amazed, although nonetheless unhappy, to discover that, while I apparently assume and hold the skating position just fine when not moving, as soon as I try to move a body part things go to heck.  In fact, I somehow managed to do the first "moving" drill completely backwards (pushing with the wrong leg) for  four laps before realizing what I was doing (the fact that every other skater in the camp had cruised past me like I was standing still in the course of those four laps was my first clue).
• Derek Parra and his able assistants Robert, Josh, and Marian are doing a fantastic job of explaining the intricacies of long track skating.  However, I am continuing to experience the same malady I've experienced with Coach TieGuy over the past 5 years--the almost-complete inability to process information about physical skills.  I watch, I listen, I pay very close attention--and it all goes in one ear and out the other with no understanding taking place in between.  I think this goes a long way towards explaining my lengthy quest to conquer the finer basic points of long track technique (and it also highlights the fact that Coach TieGuy has patience unrivaled even by Nuvi).
• When you take a bunch of old skaters, work them hard, then put them in a warm room and feed them a very good lunch, you risk having many of them fall asleep during the subsequent lecture on nutrition.  I'm afraid we didn't give the presenters quite the undivided attention they deserved. (Although we did manage to focus quite nicely on the carrot-cake bars.)
• No matter how well you think you may have mastered the technique of a dryland drill, the video camera will prove otherwise!

All in all, it was a great first day.  I'm pleased that I'm not too sore today (actually, my neck is the most sore, thanks to the, as Hubster calls them, NeckJackerSpecial pillows in my motel room).  I was cautious in executing the jump-type dryland exercises yesterday because of my low back/hip/hamstring issues, but all prone-to-injury body parts feel pretty good this morning.  Today we have two ice sessions and one dryland session, though, so that status may very well change by tomorrow morning...

And now, off for another day of fun!